Walking up to the edge of a cliff I anticipate the vast view that would envelope all my senses. My breath quickens and eyes dilate as all parts of me feel more alive Hesitation and excitement intertwine within me like old lovers. How close to the edge should I get? People behind me gasp in fear as I touch the edge and take in the view. I feel my blood pumping. The intensity of taking the steps to see what can only be seen by risking.
I was told that when I was a toddler I would get up before the family, rip my diaper off and run down our old country dirt road. What brings a toddler to do that? One could call that impulsivity and there is nothing "good" to be noted. I see this. I am a grateful that nothing happened to me except that my father chased after me with an umbrella. Not sure what he did with the umbrella once he caught me (I can certainly assume), they didn't finish story.
What I sense about that story and personality is there is there is some force that needs to explore and express.
A mystical craving of adventure towards an edge of the unknown to that which is without limits.
What offers clarity and illumination can also seem scary and dangerous. Finding an edge literally and figuratively is where we can ignite the fire of transformation within us.
When we allow our desire to feel the fire of being fully alive, It can feel too painful and scary to "wake up" to feel the discomfort of our heart's desire. To take the chance to live fully.
An incredible pathway to understanding these hidden places is through our body and emotions. Our mind and social constructs can trap and constrict our individual expressions. We have to consistently pause to reflect to KNOW what is the TRUTH for us.
more to come on this topic :)